I desire not victory, nor kingdoms, nor pleasures.

Arjuna Vishaada Yoga

Chapter 1, Verse 32

na kānkṣe vijayam kṛṣṇa 

na ca rājyaṁ sukhāni ca 

kim no rājyena govinda 

kim bhogair jīvitena vā

Nor do I see any good in slaying my own people in battle; O Krishna, I desire not victory, nor kingdoms, nor pleasures.

In his mind, in his mental agony, he was already torturing himself. He was already seeing the slaughter of all his family, friends and relatives. This picture, that they were already dead, had been imprinted into his mind. The image in the brain is the focus of the future. In his mind, this goal had already been fixed and that was where life would carry him.

Later on, in Chapter 11, Krishna will show his Vishwa Swarupa, His true Cosmic Form, to Arjuna: in that Vishwa Swarupa, He will show that all the Kauravas are already dead. At that moment, Krishna will ask Arjuna, "Who killed them? Did you kill them? Or did I, the Lord that sustains everything, the Lord that sustains life and death? You tell Me!" At that moment, Arjuna will realise and clearly see - not with the physical eyes, not with the mind, but with the eyes of the soul - that it was all in the plan of God, everything.

But here, Arjuna's mind was very busy, hanging onto so many torments. "Why should I fight? What should I do? What will happen to them if they die? Why should I kill them for earthly pleasure, material gain, for the kingdom? What will I gain by killing my dear ones? There is nothing good in killing." Here, however, the killing was not just to kill, it was to transform. You can't kill the negative qualities when they arise inside of men - because by killing, you utilise another negative quality, and two negative qualities can't kill each another. You must transform negative qualities. By transforming a negative quality which arises, it is weakened. And when it is weakened, it can't feed on anything. Then you can say that you have mastered it.

The word 'pleasure' is used in this verse. Victory is not only a victory; there is pleasure in victory. There is material gain in it. But when one is happy, one gains everything anyway. Arjuna said, "Why should I want all this? I will not be happy." Inside his mind, he had already programmed himself that he would not be happy killing his relatives. "Life will be terrible. Life will be of no use if I kill them."

It's like when you go on the spiritual path, your friends change. Your old friends start accusing you-friends who you used to sit, eat, have fun, and party with. But when you change your life, your old friends are not happy. They start rebelling, and start to give you 'good' advice to not become spiritual, to not stay firm on your path. How many of you, when you started on your path, have experienced that people discouraged you? Your own family will discourage you. Your friends will ridicule you, will call you all kinds of names. How many of you? All of you! This is what was also happening inside Arjuna. The mind of Arjuna was rebelling against himself saying, "Look what you will lose!"

Also, when you go on your spiritual path, you reflect on it. You think, "Oh, I have to change my life. Now that I am following this Swami, I have to become vegetarian, because He is asking me to become vegetarian. Oh, my poor meat!" You always look at what you will lose; you don't see what you will gain by transforming yourself. People are always like this. They don't see the benefits. They always see first what they are losing. Note one thing: on the spiritual path, you never lose, you always gain. In reality, the thing which you transform, which you let go of, gives you strength in letting it go. Without doing that, you'll not move forward in life. It doesn't matter how your life is. Spirituality means being strong in your daily routine, wherever you are, whenever you do your dharma. That's what the dharmakshetra stands for - when you start doing your dharma in life, you enjoy what you are doing, you enjoy what God is giving you. Then you become strong. You don't go into the weaknesses and just sit and cry. No, you go into your power.

Bhagavad Gita